"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
J.D. Salinger goes up to the counter and orders an iced skinny flavored latte. He pays for it, but when the barista tries to give it to him, he instead attempts to engage her in conversation, claiming that he didn’t really want the coffee in the first place. Also, everyone is a phony.
Lemony Snicket goes up to the counter and orders a caffé Americano. It is bitter. The barista is armed. The man in the corner has poisoned someone’s drink. The espresso machine is on fire. Lemony Snicket begins to run down the street as the Starbucks explodes. He is being chased. He spills his coffee.
Jay Gatsby goes up to the counter and orders a vanilla iced coffee, but only after being repeatedly reassured by his companion that it is a sufficiently aristocratic choice. While waiting, Gatsby daydreams about his choice: the delicate balance of bitter and sweet; the refreshing chill on this…